How I learned resiliency from a 6-year-old

“My strength is getting bigger!” my 6-year-old patient exclaims, proudly beaming and admiring her own hands. Behind her, a small child is toddling up a play hill that has been painted to look like a winding road using a modified walker, and another child is shooting baskets on one foot from a balance beam. My patient had just finished a series of tasks using only her right hand, which is both her dominant hand and the hand that was affected by a stroke a few months prior. Today, I had the opportunity to observe her occupational therapy session as a part of my developmental medicine curriculum. What I witnessed was nothing short of inspirational.

Her task involved climbing a 10-foot ladder onto a platform, jumping off the platform into a pillow pit, and then scooping wiffle-balls with a plastic ice cream cone from the pit and placing them in a bucket 20 feet away. The caveat was that she could only use her right hand. Amazed, I watched as she fearlessly climbed onto the platform, jumped without hesitation, and dove after the first ball. As she reached for it, her hand began to shake and she had difficulty connecting the cone to the ball. Without a second thought, she tenderly used her left hand to stabilize her right wrist, and the task was complete before I could appreciate what had happened.

The second time around, she was a little more tired and a little more shaky. About halfway up the ladder, she paused and I overheard her whisper, “you can do this” and take a deep breath before finishing her ascent. As she tackled the wiffle balls below with an even more prominent tremor, her occupational therapist gently prompted her, “slow down, you can do this! Take a minute to steady your breath”. She took three deep breaths, and then finished the task. At the end, she stood to the side and said, more to herself than to anyone else, “my strength is getting bigger!”

I have not stopped thinking about this sweet girl since. What she did is nothing short of amazing, and for her it was just another day. Her resilience and ability to overcome such immense challenges is astounding in and of itself. What I find myself reflecting the most on, however, was the way she gently helped herself, the kind ways she spoke to herself, and the compassionate interaction between her and her therapist. Where I anticipated frustration, I saw grace abounding. In the face of fear, I heard courage whispered softly. When she needed support, a compassionate therapist was at her side and gently coached her through breathing exercises and modeled ways for her to coach herself in the future. Throughout it all she showered herself with kindness and gentleness, and so did the people around her. We all have something to learn from this resilient little girl, and I’m forever grateful for the opportunity to witness kids’ healing and learn from them along the way.